The Quest for the Sword of UnTime

This is the best argument I can make for the legitimacy of Twitter as a serious tool for communication in the 21st century. Without it, I could not receive essential information in real time in 140 characters or less. Below is my adventure, and make sure to read it from the bottom up. Click on the image for full size. Also, follow me @briefconceits for all my latest exploits.

(Click for full size and read from bottom up.) 

Where's the Box for "Stop Mailing These To Me!"?

I somehow got onto the Republican mailing list, and about once a week I get an annoying "ballot" that's little more than a pathetic gimmick to squeeze money out of me. I got so tired of throwing them away that I decided to fill one out. If I'm lucky this will finally get them to stop.

 (Click for full view)

My Talk with God

I have a pondering spot down by the river. I go there when I need to get away and do some serious thinking. I sit on a rock beside the mighty rushing all-consuming flowing trickling Arkansas River and contemplate the deep things of life. It is also a place I often talk with God.

My pondering place.

That is not quite accurate. It's more like I talk at God, and then God lets me sit there and stew for a bit. God and I have a strange relationship.

Last evening, it was time for one of those talks at God. That is not quite accurate, either. It was time to complain at God. When I feel something is going wrong, I feel like Job felt after all those awful things happened to him. In that moment, I feel like Job. I am Job. I feel no remorse in the moment that I have equated my petty problems with Job losing all his children and wealth, sitting in a pile of ashes scratching himself with a potsherd. That is totally me. And I will quote Job's same line to God, as if God hadn't heard it the first time with Job, or that God would now be moved to answer differently after he sees how bad I have it.

I would lay out my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would know with what words he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me with great power? No, he would only pay attention to me. There an upright person could present his case before him, and I would be delivered forever from my judge.
~Job 23.4-7 (NET)

It was late at night, almost midnight, and I made the trek to my pondering spot which is about a mile from where I live. I just walk north up a suburban street until I reach the river and then follow the river to the pondering rock. It's not that I have to go to this specific place to talk with God. He's everywhere, right? This is more for my benefit. It eliminates all the other things that might distract me from properly complaining.

After I reached the river and made my way to my pondering rock, I looked up at the night sky and noticed that the stars were obscured by total cloud cover. God wasn't going to play the make-Eric-feel-insignificant-in-the-face-of-the-seemingly-infinite-universe card tonight. He probably didn't think my complaint was worth unfurling the heavens.

I sat on my rock, and I gave God a chance to talk. I always give him a chance to explain himself before I start on my complaints. He's never taken the opportunity, but you never know, right?

So after God doesn't speak, I start to speak. It doesn't really matter what my problem was this particular time (it never really matters). But after I finished God still did not talk. He let me sit there...

...and sit there...

...and continue to sit there...

...until finally I come to a realization that I knew the answer. In fact, the answer had been staring at me in the face the entire week. And I suddenly felt stupid, inconsiderate and arrogant in the face of the Almighty God.

So I said a quick apology and returned home. He doesn't say anything back, but I imagine it would be something like, "See you next week, Eric."

I told you God and I have a strange relationship.

South Africans Love the Colonel

One of the most jarring aspects of my trip to South Africa was the fact that no matter where I went, I was haunted by the ghost of Colonel Sanders. Nowhere was this more poignant than in the town of Eshowe, KwaZulu-Natal which has a population of just over 14,000 people.

On one of the main streets (Osborn Road), there is a KFC that always seemed to be doing brisk business the several times I passed by.

But not even a kilometer down Osborn Road is there another KFC that also does very brisk business as well!

South Africans love their Kentucky Fried Chicken almost as much as we Americans love our Starbucks. There is one on every corner!

Zulu Hymns

I had the opportunity to spend time with a church in Eshowe, KwaZulu-Natal where they have a dual language service in both Zulu and English. I recorded a few of the Zulu songs that were sung while I was there. Zulu has sounds that are not present in English that sound like clicks. You can catch a few of those in some of the songs. You might also be able to recognize an old familiar hymn or two in there as well.

Even More Kruger National Park

Baby Warthogs

While in Kruger National Park we came across some baby warthogs that were butting their heads together (as male children often do). I took a small video with my camera. Sorry for the quality.

More Kruger National Park

Venda Song

Here is a brief recording of one of the songs sung at the Venda services I mentioned in a previous post. It wasn't recorded with the best of equipment (being out in a rural area with no electricity), and I tried to clean up the audio as best as I could. This recording does not do the song service justice, but I hope it gives you at least a taste.



I think you can probably pick out the woman I was talking about. I don't know her name, but I absolutely love her enthusiasm!

Lone Creek Falls

Kruger National Park

I visited Kruger National Park for a day, and came back with many many pictures. There are too many to put into one post, so I will spread them out over multiple posts over multiple days.

It was overcast, and rained much of the time I was there (but truth be told, I was thankful it was not unbearably hot, which is how it can get when it's not raining). Of the "Big Five" as they call them (elephant, rhino, African buffalo, lion and leopard) I only saw elephants and rhinos. But I immensely enjoyed the trip, and I got to see some amazing scenery and animals up close in the wild.

South African-isms: Hey

Hey is a fairly versatile word in American English, but on the lips of a South African the word hey takes on transcendental qualities where it no longer is simply a word. It is the word. I have compiled a list of the meanings I have discovered hey to have in South African English. I am sure this is by no means an exhaustive list.

• Isn't it?
• Don't you know?
• Well, that's what I think anyway.
• Don't you think so?
• Whatever.
• Well, that's just the way things are.
• Et cetera.
• Somebody tell me I'm wrong!

Mpumalanga Province

I traveled from Louis Trichardt in Limpopo Province to White River in Mpumalanga Province. Here are a few pictures I took while traveling through Mpumalanga.

A lot of the roads in South Africa are paved (or tarred as I've heard them say it), but many are not. After a hard rain, dirt roads tend to get pretty bad. I wish this picture was in 3D so you could see just how bad it was.

I'm beginning to think that Colonel Sanders is the President of South Africa. Seriously.

School's out!