The Churches of Panera

A couple Sunday mornings ago, I sat in a Panera Bread enjoying a breakfast before church services. On either side of where I sat, Bible study groups were gathered at opposite sides of the store. I marveled at the interesting scene before me. In my head I named the two groups, and then an entire dialogue developed in my head.

Rightside Panera Bread Church

Do not be swayed by the larger more diverse group on the left side of Panera Bread, dear children. For did not Jesus say in Matthew chapter 25 that he shall separate the goats to the left, and they shall be cast from his presence into eternal punishment? Assuredly, only the Rightside Panera Bread Church is the true church. Be not deceived!

Leftside Panera Bread Church

At one point, there was only one church at Panera Bread. We preferred the left side of the building because of the superior lighting in the morning. We also desired to spread butter and various jams and jellies on our breads. For the bread of Panera Bread is a good bread, but is in need of condiments to make it palatable.

Rightside Panera Bread Church

If the bread of Panera Bread was meant to have additional condiments, would not the bakers have made it thus? Truly, to add beyond what the baker intended is an abomination to the bread of Panera Bread which is already a superior bread in need of no additions.

Leftside Panera Bread Church

Your religion is a bland and undesirable religion! Next you will be telling us we cannot add cream and/or sweeteners to our morning coffees.

Rightside Panera Bread Church

You dare add your own variations to the coffee which was brewed to be a sufficient coffee for all who may partake? Heathens! Sinners!

Leftside Panera Bread Church

Miscreants! Pharisees!

Disclaimer: Not intended as a statement concerning all churches.